Love Love Love. College College College. JEREMY KYLE!

Hey Broheems!

So I had an interesting (almost rather heated argument) on the topic of love with a girl (whom I will not mention) in my class.
Yes, you guessed it - the topic was 'Love'.

Bearing in mind MOST teenagers are rather fickle, easily influenced and always think they are right...doesn't really give me the validity for her argument to be reliable.

Now. I don't know the ins and outs of her relationship but it all seems like sex sex sex and gorm gorm gorm at other boys. How can she even LOOK at another bloke if she already has the man of her dreams? Sometimes I look at other couples and think that what they have seems more genuine, however I wouldn't call it Love. Love happens over time. A LONG time. You have to face the challenges of life together to pass the test of LOVE. If it was love...why do people move around from partner to partner? This doesn't seem right for me.

LIFE ISN'T A HOLLYWOOD MOVIE.

*disclaimer* Yes you do get the odd ones who do stay together forever at a young age...but that was the 70's...you don't get that everyday. I admire that.

I could rant...do an entire essay....but my M key is broken....wahey! Basically, my conclusion is...she isn't in love. Silly infatuated girl.

Anyways!

I hope everybody had a good holiday. I've asked like 15 of you and 10 of you gave me a one word answer: Shit. Thankyou for your honesty. I admit, mine were pretty shit too. Sitting in front of the box with a tub (not a bowl) but a TUB of Ben and Jerry's ice cream watching actual screw ups embarrass themselves on the Jeremy Kyle show. Yes, I'm actually looking forward to the thought of college: Iron my suit with intensive care, STRAIGHTEN my hair (Gosh Golly!) and prepare...actually prepare some prework and folders for the lessons. Untill....I walk into college and I am overwhelmed by this feeling...this feeling of....'Wow...this is really shit!'. Landau - the people, the building, what it stands for - Utter utter crap. Its sickening and I hate the fact I'm there. I don't belong there. I stick out like a sore thumb and feel pretty thick, even though I know I'm not. But hey...I GOT AN 'A' IN PHILOSOPHY! Just have to stick the rest of it out now.

Anywho - Ramadan is on and its pretty good :) God bless you all. *cough*

You know it.

Peace.

Yes.

I want to

I need to

I have to

I am.

We Are Dancers

Hey Broheems! Seeing as it is the holidays and many of you have nothing to do - (believe me I was in your position a few days ago), I utilised my time by...

Haha, why did I do it I hear you ask? I just don't know.

Hello.

A blank page,

A reflection of my memories

For the good ones are lost,

Only to be rediscovered on this white, ruled canvas.

My days are ridged again.

A fear that my entity will collapse into time.

My goals are set, my path is paved.

My refusal to accept my potential.

My name is Rabia.

And I am on the brink of being lost.

Old faces and Misleading Vaginas.

Hey Broheems,

I hope all is well. 

Firstly I would like to apologise for my absence. Just finished exams so I'm back to contemplating life and finding solace in Amélie again several times. Joy. Bet you're all happy though! 

Second of all 

THIS: 

- 

Is a lamp. Not a vagina. 

Ah, I was thinking of starting a video (I don't want to say blog...bit of a whiny cliché if you ask me) THING on youtube. I now have time and am rather skilled at editing if you ask me. However, I still prefer the slight mysterious side to blogging. 
An interesting thing happened today. A person who I deleted from my facebook readded me again after a long time. I don't think he knows that I have a low opinion of him. Hm, turns out I'll be meeting him face to face at one point, and believe it or not, Rabia has no idea what to do with this situation. Should I say it like it is? Or simply play along? Hm... I don't like the way I treated the latter during the two weeks at York. Perhaps I hung around with a few of the wrong people and realised afterwards that it wasn't worthwhile. I should do something about this. I WILL do something about this. 
It's time I fixed that part of my life anyway. 

There is this ONE topic that seems to be recurring with everyone I know. 

JOBS.

The summer is approaching and the vacancies are scarce. How the hell are you going to make some major dollarage this summer? 
No...don't sell yourself. Not like anyone half decent would want your nasty *****. 

Here is some advice.

1) When making a CV, be serious. Be extra serious. Be professional. This is important. Include things like: Personal Profile, Summmary of Skills and Qualities, Work Experience, Education, Qualifications, and achievments, Interests and Hobbies and finally, Character reference. ( Don't choose your mother either).  This is a basic outline. Choose two other people such as teachers to read it through. Change it. Don't EVER give in your first draft. 

2) Once you have made your CV, it is better to compile a Cover Letter also. This is something you send along with your CV explaining why you would be good for the job etc etc. This is so you can make it slightly more personal and relative to the employer. Here is a good example of a 'how-to': http://www.wikijob.co.uk/wiki/how-write-cover-letter

3) Now. Once you have peeled, chopped and marinated yourself to be thrown into the system - you now have to look in the right places. Sure, go for the good old retail deparment, but chances are:you are not cool enough for TopShop, You're too much of a tool for Dorothy Perkins and frankly, you're too much of a pretty boy for G-STAR. (Take your stupid diamond ear piercing out, stop wearing foundation and pink t-shirts, stop making your hair look super FRESH, and that man bag isn't doing you any favours. It's a hangbag at the end of the day. A HANDBAG.) If you have little experience, go to industrial estates, wholesalers, factory work. Sorry to say this, but it has to be done. You have to start from the bottom. Telemarketing is rather good. Go to the WEBSITE of your local paper and look in the job section. Scour through ALL the relative sections, and its all good. 


4) If you still need help, I wouldn't mind at all. :) 

Yes. 

Peace.

Sex Bloggers.

Hey Broheeeemsss.

Its been too long. Far too long. I apologise. I've had exams you see.

But screw that because...THEY FINISHED TODAY!

you knowww.

Yes, you are probably wondering - sex bloggers. They are extremely talented writers. I read one about a male prostitute and his anticts. So so good. Quite a decent erotic writer too, good style of writing. I would give you the link but I dont want you guys getting bad ideas.

Anyways - New things to look out for - PULLSHAPES is making a comeback. Because the worst of the storm is over, I'm beginning to get my life on track again. I'm looking for a proper street team, should be fun going up and down the country =]

Bit of a short one today - Wanted to mention JENNY LIN in my blog as she is such a keen reader :P Pretty cool. Not just saying that. She can carry 'cool' better than anyone I know.



Peace.

Yes

http://www.wimp.com/thislife/



Watch it.





That will be all.








Peace.

The List

HAPPINESS.

It can be found anywhere :) 
For me - It's at the train station. Bet you didn't know that, did you?

So hey broheems! 

I finally have the list. Its a good, simple list. 

1. Random act of kindness

2. Learn a skill

3. Make an impact

I'm going to do this regardless. It is going to be awesome. So for an example for you lot:

1. I'm going to help someone with something...possibly Gran. Clean her flat.  
2. I'm going to carry on with beatboxing to get to a decent standard again.

3. Participate in a protest or do 50 hours of voluntary work. 

Its going down this summer. 

Final thought: Just thought I'd share more things that made me happy :) 

COFFEE!

and of course...

PAPER. 

Peace.

Anti Matter.

Hey Broheems. 

Hope all is well. 

I cannot believe that this blog has got me a semi potential date. 3 people have been rather inspired about this blog and have approached me about it. People have mellowed.
All is good in the world of Rabia...for now.

Do you ever get sick of yourself? Of your mind? The thought of being stuck with it forever?

The way you think.

What you think about. 

And the recurring thoughts that just won't go away?
What about what others think? Not everyone can think like you. Quite a striking thought actually.
How do you percieve things?
What is your recurring thought?
What is most important to you/what are your views?  

Yeah, a wierd thing to think about right? I was listening to M.I.A - 20 dollar and it just got me thikning...where is my mind? 

Anyways - The list. A lot of people have been asking about it and it is well underway. Things to do before you die. Just a new angle really :) something you can say you did instead of wishing you could do. Maybe the list doesn't need a meaning, in fact: You could give it your own. Self achievement for whatever reasons. You don't have to tell me or anyone - just do it. 

So - this is just one of tasks:

 Participate in a Protest.  

Don't worry. It doesn't have to be number one. Though it is something I want to do and I feel a lot of people will benefit from this.
Guidelines
It could be ANY protest you wish. 
Has to be this year.
You can bring lots of friends or do your own Protest..
Participation is easier so:
http://battlefront.co.uk/ < this is an amazing and leading website for protests so please, take your time to check it out. Trust Rabia on this one :)
Oh and last but not least - Do let me know when you have done it and take at least one picture and send send send.

Here's something for nothing:Sort out your mind. Sort out your life. 

Peace.

I Stole From Starbucks

Hey Broheems! 

Well, the battle is won....for now! The exam was surprising but lets face it - there's nothing that anybody can't handle if they put their mind to it. 
So there I was. Completed my exam, absolutely BURSTING for a wee. (Not exactly a piece of information you want to know....but yeah, well, hey). I was experiencing my favourite feeling: Relief.
No more Othello.
 No more History boys.
Things Fall Apart I may miss along with the wonders of speech.
I no longer hold the burden of English! 
It had been previously decided that me and my good friend Danikin Skywalker would go for a coffee at a local coffee shop, but due to the shared issue of stress relief - it seemed like a joint effort from everyone to suggest a trip to Starbucks. PAUSE: Big name brands such as Starbucks tend to intimidate me and therefore lead to resentment of the establishment. Usually because they are overpriced and over rated. You know it. I know it. Lets cry a river, build a bridge and get over it. ( It was the same with Coke for a while but who am I kidding? They own the world.) So due to my newly born resentment for Starbucks...I STOLE A MUG. I don't even feel guilty. I think I was there when one person threw an egg at the window of Starbucks due to the Palestinian peace protests. Quite funny. But did they deserve it? I guess they did for the shitty service. Hence the stolen mug :) Compensation. 

Also, as we are on the topic of Starbucks - http://www.starbucks.com/aboutus/pressdesc.asp?id=976    < This is a hilarious. 

I analysed everyone today. They were all too cautious. I didn't like it and I pretty much traded a genuine moment for an hour of antagonising socialising. Was it worth it?
Hell No.

Hm. My biggest conclusion of today is: Liars have reached a whole new level. I feel quite smart to know that actually. Or is this just me growing up? 
Few questions:

• Why does everything descend when one is growing up or entering adulthood?
• Why do people wish their life away?
• And this one isn't a question - it's to all those people who claim they are old.
  
  
  You are old when you are dead. 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Peace.
  
  

Persuit of Happiness.

I cried and begged for mercy so I talked to God on the telephone
But I really can't tell you what he told me but it was a Lie. 

My mother told me today that the best fail, then succeed. I sure hope this happens tomorrow. I thought I had prepared, but in comparison to everyone else - evidently, I have not. No matter. Losing hope right now would be like shooting yourself in the head before someone else does. Soooo....lets...not...lose..ourselves :)
I've been dragged from one end of my mind to the other in a matter of 24 hours. I've wrecked myself. I know its not the end of the world....its only an exam. But since when did so much depend on an exam?

So I was thinking today. What could I do to add to my list? And I had a fantastic idea. France. Alone. In the summer. I think it would be great. Just to get away from everything and everyone. It will help. I need my mind back. I need a miracle. We all know they don't happen by themselves...its a sequence of everyday happenings that somehow interlink to make a lottery for one person. I guess I'm going to have to strive for that chance.
I hate what this year has made people. I hate how everyone changed. Why do people work so hard for the wrong reasons? Does their future depend on it? Being passive I understand does not help but asserting yourself in the system is like...well...shooting yourself in the head before someone else does! (abuse of metaphore).
 There has to be more than getting a job, getting rich, getting a house, collecting stuff for your house and then finding that one person ( or a few..which ever floats your boat) and settling down. BORING and SELFISH. Like I always say: There is too much breadth and not enough depth. Too many options which only scratch the surface of reality.

So the question of the day is...How do you live a fulfilling life? 

Think. 

Peace.

Shit comebacks and the thrills of Procrastination.

<--So these guys are coming back.

I hope they aren't as shit as these guys --> Pretty crappy comeback. And yes - I do know my enemy thankyou Mr.Greenday - It would be your shitty new 'play it safe' album which took years of anticipation from your loyal fans. It's all gone to waste now hasn't it :)


Whatever happened to punkrock? Like decent punkrock? I think they left it behind.

So anyway - I got quite a response from my last post. Bad and good. I could say I don't care but that would be quite arrogant of me, but thank you for taking the time to read. I even got one follower, WAHEY. Who...doesn't have a picture or a profile...and looks kind of scary....

I understand that my last perspective was rather negative and that may have come across as Rabia has given up all hope on people. No. That is not the case as I could think of many good things as well as bad. I'm not going to eject myself from society just yet. So latter from yesterday:

1) I like the way Landau suit you, boot you and polish you to be eaten by the dogs of the system by the end of year 13.

2) Thought of the day. Even though it is one of the college's pathetic tactics to ground some moral law within us...some of them are rather refreshing. Let's face it - If Landau isn't going to do it, who is? It's not like parents know what they are doing any more. (Yeah, I just dissed yo' mama').

3) Instead of people saying shit to your face, people feel that they would take it one step up (or a step down. Either way) and resort to saying shit behind your back. Ouch! Oh god...what....what was that!? Oh...your....your knife? Oh OK. But at least you don't have to stand public humiliation which was a usual thing Sinfin. Quite funny actually - till it was you standing there being jeered at for not knowing what 'mandem' meant. (God bless urban dictionary)

4) Smart Folk. Like...actual smart folk. Some are actually satisfying to talk to. You never really have a boring conversation at Landau. I like that.


That's all my brain can churn out right now on that topic.

Hm. I've been thinking. I use to be quite talented. Picked up little skills here and there. I'm sure a lot of you did as well. Couldn't be bothered to go on with it? Or did you find every little excuse under the sun to avoid it? Fear of failure. You don't do your best because you feel your best won't be good enough. GENIUS RABIA GENIUS!
No, not quite - that conclusion cost me a lot of money and downloading. Self growth books, tapes, seminars. They never last long. Cheap thrills and quick fixes. So I have a strategy: If you give...you get. I'm going to do something I should have done a long time ago that I never completed....a song perhaps? writing a letter to an old friend? something I wanted to learn but never got round to it? You all should do it to. Seriously...it's soul making. And it will make you feel better :)

I'll make a list of little random challenges...post it on my blog....and you can read it :) be inspired, do something from it or make your own and by the end of the the year - the world will be a better place. Strategy people. Strategy. I like motivating people - I should do it for a living.

So today - complete Othello revision with Laura and post my letter. Maybe call my cousin. Poor guy has a major exam today.

So for now I leave you with one task (if you're bored):
List...all the people you know/ have known.
Write down the date.
Spend 2 minutes doing this at first then add as you remember.
You won't remember them all at once.
Seperate them afterwards.
Friends? Family? Associates? Just people you see? People you like but never talked to?
This helped me loads. I have pages full. It gets fun after a while and things become clearer. (This is good advice...which cost me loads...fucking self help books).
It makes you feel better. Trust me.


Anyways, I'll write more later. Have to get ready for a friends arrival.



Peace

Pilot - People I Know.

Writing really does take the piss. Even though I enjoy it - time is never on my side.
Diaries;- I use to keep them, but someone ALWAYS ends up finding them. 

So - blogging it is. Wahey. 

I met an old friend today. And yes - a genuine friend. I don't call many people friends although they might think they are. Convenience of place and time does not mean people are friends. College for instance: how many people are going to stick it out afterwards? Actually BOTHER to maintain contact? Not many. Not many at all. 
But yes, this genuine friend. Been on her travels and actually inspired me a little to carry on with unfinished business. You'd be surprised how much I procrastinate. Inspiration and motivation - God bless Anthony Robbins (even though you are a quick fix, I buy everything and cherish your amazing jawline). 

I've been thinking a lot lately. People do not prioritise. People do not know what is good for them and invest time into the wrong things. I hate the fact I am around these people 24/7. But yes, I know what you're thinking - Rabia does this too. Rabia is aware of this and Rabia is trying to sort this out :)

I've realised that Landau might have been a lot of hard work but isn't my best achievement. I hate how Landau tries to change you without you realising it. How you play along with the dirty games people come up with and at the end of the day, are disgusted at yourself by your antics and hypocrisy. I know why people do it - to play it safe. It's understandable. People are liberated by the fact that playing it safe is good! is easy and is the best option to success! But it's not. Is it reader? 

So do the right thing, dumbass sheep:

1) Don't say hi to people you mildly know in the corridors and are weary about saying hi to. Chances are, they don't really give a shit about you, and if they did - they would have bothered first. 

2) Don't tell people you've known for a little while you love them. The only people you love are your mum or your dad. Mostly your mum. Probably your bro and sis too if you didn't want to kill them all the time...( oh wait...unconditional love...I get it!) I don't think you can fall in 'love' at 17. Even with your 'friends'.

3) Don't wear your heart on your sleeve. There are a lot of things people don't know about me and I like to keep it that way. In fact, the things people DO know, are probably little white lies that they want to hear to make themselves feel 'special'. 

4) If you say you don't care - MEAN IT. Don't buy new clothes or new makeup and dress to impress for a silly little thing called COLLEGE, thinking you don't give a shit about what people think when obviously love - the true intentions for clothes and makeup you are wearing scream OTHERWISE. 

4b) To improve your sense of 'not giving a fuck' ness - do little things in your own time to improve this. For instance - sitting by yourself at dinnertime. Running around like a twat in the streets. Or my personal favourite: saying what you feel about a person with the result of them giving you hell. It's soul making.

5) Don't talk about anyone else. It's hard, and I hear it all the time, but there are better things to talk about. It shows weakness. Insecurities. Insecure people, are not good to be around with. It doesn't give a good impression and it shows horrible things about you: Jealousy. Frustration. Stupidity which all equal- INSECURITIES. Unfortunately, I am surrounded by insecure people, and for a while, I think I turned into one. Good...god. 

On a lighter note - if your reaction to this is 'Good, I don't do that!' = INSECURE!. 
Quite funny if you ask me =] 

So, now onto some good old Othello revision for Wednesday. 

Peace.